Subject: ***8**8***DINTY FIKSHUN******8****8* 
From: dintyh@hotmail.com (DINTY H)
Date: 1998/09/24
Newsgroups: alt.tv.road-rules, alt.tv.real-world, alt.tv.dawsons-creek, alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer 
Message-ID: <36315f7b.17921130@news.alt.net>
Organization: LET"S BE CHAT PLAS!!1!!!!
Reply-To: dintyh@hotmail.com


COFFEE SHOP...

LORI ZOTELA; SO ARE YOU REDDY TO DO THIS?

JAY; YES I AM

LORI ZOTELA; I LUV YOU PUMKIN

JAY; I LUV YOU HUNNY BUNNY

LORI ZOTELA; ANY OF YOU MOVE AND WE WILL FLAME YOU BUT GOOD!11!!

MUSIC;
DOO DOO DOO DOOD ODO DOO DOO DOO
HUP! HUP!
DOO DOO DOO DOO HUP! HUP! OK YOU GET THE IDEEA

DINTY H PRESENTS "DINTY FIKSHUN"

1, HOW BRAIN PEZ DISPENSER TOOK CAER OF DINTY"S WOMAN

BRAIN PEZ DISPENSER AND DAVID H ARE DRIVING IN A CAR...

DAVID H; SO HOW WAS YOUR TRIP TO FRANTS?/??

BRAIN PEZ; IT WAS PRETY GOOD SO YOU NO IN FRANTS YOU CAN GET CHEERWINE
IN THE MOVIES?/??

DAVID H; REELY? WOW!!11!

BRAIN PEZ; AND DO YOU NO WHAT THEY CALL A SANTA FAY GORDEETA?/?

DAVID H; THEY DO"NT CALL IT THAT?

BRAIN PEZ; NO THEY DO"NT HAVE THE OLD WEST THEY WOOD"NT NO WHAT THE
FUDGE A SATA FAY IS. THEY CALL IT A VICHY GORDEETA.

DAVID H; WHAT DO THEY CALL THE KERNEL'S EXTRA KRISPIE CHICKEN?

BRAIN PEZ; I DO"NT NO I DID"NT GO TO KFC.

DAVID H; WELL LET"S GO DO THIS I WISH WE HAD SHOTGUNS

BRAIN PEZ; HEY LET US IN YOU KIDS!!1!!

KID; OK COME ON IN

DAVID H; I HOPE WE AREN"T INTERUPTING SOMETHING!!1!!! OH LOOK IT"S
TACO BELL!1!!! MIND IF I HAEV ALL OF IT/?// THANK YOU!!1!!

BRAIN PEZ; SO WHERE IS THE BOOTY?/?

KID; OVER THEIR

DAVID H; DOES IT LOOK GOOD TO YOU??//??

BRAIN PEZ; YUP.

DAVID H; DOES DINTY H LOOK LIEK A BEACH? DO YOU READ THE HOLIE
BIBEL??/? THE PATH OF THE RISHESS MAN IS BEESET ON ALL SIDES BY THE
INEKWITIES OF THE MEAN AND SELFISH WONS. THE WON WHO TAKES CARE OF HIS
PLAS IS A NICE WON. YOU WILL NOW GET KILLED BECUZ DINTY H SED SO!!11!!

KID; ARGH!!111!1 NOW I AM SHOT DEAD!1!!!!

PIKESTREET; HEY YOU GUYS TOOK FOREVER TO GET HEAR!1!!!

BRAIN PEZ; YAH WELL MIND YOUR BIZNESS!!1!!

AT THE BAR...

BRAIN PEZ; YES I NEED TO BUY SOME PEZ FOR MY PEZ GUN!!11!!

JADEHAWK; YOU GOT A PROBLEM, FREND?

BRAIN PEZ; I JUST WANT SOME PEZ, MEAN WON

JADEHAWK; WHAT WAS THAT?

BRAIN PEZ; YOU HERD ME, DEAF WON.

DINTY H; HEY BRAIN PEZ DISPENSER COME OVER HEAR!!11!! NOW I WANT YOU
TOO UNDERSTAND THAT PRINCESS CARI IS A LADY!!1!!! SHE IS NOT TO BE
TOUCHED!1!!!

BRAIN PEZ; YOU GOT IT DINTY!111!!

CUT TO DINTY H"S HOUSE...

PRINCESS CARI; HELO YOU MUST BE BRAIN PEZ DISPENSER!11!!

BRAIN PEZ; YES THAT"S ME I AM HEAR TO TAKE YOU OUT!!11!!

PRINCESS CARI; OK LET"S GO!!11!! I WANT TO GO TO CHUCKY CHEEZ!!11!!

CUT TO CHUCKY CHEEZ...

PRINCESS CARI; OK GET ME A PIZZA NOW!1!!

BRAIN PEZ; OK BUT NOW I HAVE A QUESTSHUN FOR YOU. IS IT TRUE THAT
DINTY H WONCE FLAMED A NEWBY FOR BEING MEAN TO YOU??/?

PRINCESS CARI; YOU GUYS ARE WORSE THAN A TATING CIRCEL!11! LISSIN, NO
WON WILL EVER NO WHY DINTY DID THAT BUT DINTY. MAYBE DINTY DID"NT EVEN
DO IT!!11!! WOW HEAR COMES THE PIZZA!!1!!

BRAIN PEZ; YES THIS IS VERY GOOD PIZZA!!!11!1!

CHUCKY CHEEZ; NOW WE WILL HAVE THE CHUCKY CHEEZ SKEEBALL CONTEST!1!!

PRINCESS CARI; I WANT THAT WHOOPY CUSHUN!!111!

BRAIN PEZ; O MAN I"M NOT GOOD AT SKEEBALL....

CUT TO DINTY"S HOUSE...

BRAIN PEZ; WOW WE SHUR WON THAT WON!!11!!

PRINCESS CARI; YES WE SHUR DID AND I LIKE THE FARTING SOUNDS THIS
MAKES!!1!!!

BRAIN PEZ; OK I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND DOO DOO!!1!! I"LL BE
RITE BACK!!11!!

PRINCESS CARI; OK!1!! HEY WHAT IS THIS PEZ IN BRAIN"S POCKET I THINK I
WILL HAEV SOME...

BRAIN PEZ; OH CARP SHE HAD TOO MANY PEZ!!1!!

THE FLY II; HEY MAN DO"NT BRING HER HEAR!!1!!

BRAIN PEZ; TOO LATE!11!

THE FLY II; OK PUT THIS LAFFY TAFFY IN HER HART!!1!!

PRINCESS CARI; WHOA WHAT A RUSH!!1!!!

BRAIN PEZ; OK WELL HEAR I AM DROPING YOU OFF AT HOME!1! HAEV A NICE
SLEEP!!11!!

PRINCESS CARI; YOU DO WANT TO HAEV RELASHUNS??/?

BRAIN PEZ; THANK YOU NO I ALREDDY HAEV PLANS TO GO HOME AND
DIDDEL!!1!! BUT HEAR I WILL BLOW YOU A KISS!!11!!

2, HOW JADEHAWK DID DINTY RONG AND THEN HELPED HIM

CUT TO BAR.....

DINTY H; OK NOW YOU"RE THE BEST AT WAHT YOU DOO, YOU NO IT AND I NO
IT. BUT REMEBER I"M GIVING YOU A LOT OF MONIE SO YOUR HIGHNIE GOES
DOWN. I NO THAT YOU WILL FEEL A STING. THAT"S PRIED. YOU JUST HAEV TO
SAY BOOOOOO!!!1!!! I HAET YOU!!1!!! TO PRIDE. YOU FITE THE GOOD FITE,
THEN YOUR HIGHNIE GOES DOWN. HEAR IS YOUR MONIE.

JADEHAWK; I UNDERSTAND YOU DINTY.

CUT TO OUTSIDE THE ARENA...

BLUERAYN IN THE TAXI LISTENING TO THE RADIO

RADIO; HOLY COW I CA"NT BELEEV IT!!1!! OH THE HUMANITIE!!!!!111!!
JADEHAWK JUST NOCKED HIS HED CLEER OFF!!11!! THIS IS THE MOST HORIBEL
MATCH OF ROCKUM SOCKUM ROBOTS I HAEV EVER SEEN!!111!!

JADEHAWK; OK LET"S MOVE!!11!!

BLUERAYN; COOD YOU PLEES NOT FALL THRU MY ROOF AND BRAKE IT???/?/
THANK YOU!!11!!

JADHAWK; SORRY BOUT THAT!!1!!

BLUERAYN; OK SO WHAT"S IT LIKE TO NOCK THE HEAD OF A ROCKUM SOCKUM
ROBOT??//???

JADHOCK; PRETY GOOD NOW I HAVE TO HAEV A FLASHBACK

MR. ZORIN; HELO YOUNG JADHOCK I HAEV A STORY FOR YOU. I WAS IN THE HO
CHEE MIN WAR WITH YOUR FATHER AND WE WERE VERY BRAEV WHIEL WE WERE
FITING SADAM HUSANE AND THE INTIER NATZIE ARMY. IN FACT I USED MY
SLINGSHOT AND KILLED HITLER WITH IT. SO THEN I WENT TO JALE WITH YOUR
DAD. ANYWAY I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOMETHINK. SOMETHINK. BEFORE YOUR
GRATEGRANDFATHER WENT TO WAR HE HAD RELASHUNS AND BOT THIS MOOD RING
FOR HIS WIFE. THEN HE CAME BACK AND GAVE THE RING TO HIS SON. THEN HE
WENT TO WAR AND LEFT THE MOOD RING BEHIND. THEN YOUR DAD DID. BUT HE
NEW HE WAS GONIG TO DYE SO HE GAVE ME THE RING. I HAD THIS RING UP MY
HIGHNIE FOR A LONG TIME AFTER I LEFT THAT JALE BECUZ IT MADE ME FEEL
KIND OF FUNNIE!!11!! ANYWAY HEAR IS THE RING!!1!

JADHOCK; OK I"M BACK NOW.

BLUERAYN; WELL HEAR IS YOUR FONEBOOTH.

JADHOCK; AND HEAR"S A BUNCH OF MONIE AND IF ANYWON ASKS YOU HOO YOU
DROVE?/??

BLUERAYN; STAR OF LARGE AND SMALL SCREEN BRUSS WILLIS!!1!!

JADHOCK; OK HONIE EVERYTHINK WHENT FIEN!!1! I"M COMING TO THE MOTEL
NOW!!1!!

FRENCH CHICK; OK I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE BACK NOW WE CAN HAEV
RELASHUNS!1!!

JADHOCK; SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!1!! O CARP!1!1 WHEAR IS MY MOON RING??/??

FRENCH CHICK; SORRY I THOT IT WAS DUM I FORGOT IT

JADHOCK; WELL CARP NOW I HAEV TO GO BACK AND GET IT!!1!! OK HERE I AM
AT MY APARTMENT AND THEIR IS THE MOOD RING!!1!! WAIT A MINIT I DO"NT
REMEBER LEEVING THAT GUN ON THE KICHEN COUNTER!!1!!

BRAIN PEZ; WHEW I FEEL GOOD AFTER MAKNG THAT DOO DOO!!1!1 OH CARP IT
DOES"NT LOOK GOOD FOR ME!!1!!

JADHOCK; YES AND NOW I WILL HAVE A POP TART!1!!!

BRAIN PEZ; OH I AM SHOT DEAD NOW!!1!!

JADHOCK; WELL OFF I WALK TO THE MOTEL!!1!!

DINTY H THAT"S ME; BE BOP BE BOP I SHUR AM MAD AT JADHOCK FOR DOING
THAT!11!! IF I EVER SEE HIM I WILL HARM HIM AND GIVE HIM SUTCH A
PINCH!1!! CARP THEIR HE IS!!1!

JADHOCK; OH CARP HEAR COMES DINTY TO GIVE ME A PINCH!1!

DINTY H THAT'S ME; HEY WE ARE BEETING EACH OTHER UP!!!111!

MARKUS PIN; GET YOUR HAND OFF THE CHAT ROOM LEADER!11! OK NOW I AM
NOCKING YOU OUT!!1!!

JADHOCK; OH CARP WE ARE TYED UP!111!!

DINTY H THAT"S ME; THEES GUYS ARE REELY MEAN I THING!1!! THING.

MARKUS PIN; WHEN ICESMASHER GETS HEAR THE FUN WILL BEGIN!11!!

ICEMELTER; GET OUT THE GRUMP!11!!

WALTER MATHOW; I AM THE LOTHARIO OF FARTS!11!!

DINTY H THAT"S ME AND JADHOCK; CARP!!11!!

ICEMELTER; DINTY H GETS IT FIRST!11!!

JADHOCK; O I BROKE OUT OF HEAR!11!! WATE MAYBE I SHOOD HELP DINTY!!1!
I"LL USE THIS SLIP N SLIDE!!1!!! OH NO THEY ARE MAKING HIM WATCHING
THOSE GRUMPY OLD MEN MOVIES!!11! HEY YOU MEAN WONS TAKE THIS!11!!

DINTY H THAT"S ME; HELP THEY ARE MAKING ME WASH 'SISTUR, SISTER' AND
LISTEN TO MMMMMMBOP!1!! AND THE GRUMP IS BEING REELY GRUMPIE TO
ME!1!!!

ICECRACKER AND MARKUS PINHEAD (IF TURTH BE NOWN); OH CARP WE ARE
SLIPING AND SLIDING ON THIS SLIP N SLIDE!!1!

DINTY H THAT"S ME; NOW I AM GOING TO CALL SOME HARD HITING CHAT PLAS
TO GET MIDEEVIL ON YOU WITH LOTS OF FLAMES AND FUNNIE POSTS!!1!!
JADHOCK WE ARE EVIN NEVER COME HEAR AGAIN.

JADHOCK; OK I WILL GO NOW ON ICELICKER"S BIG WEEL!!1

FRENCH CHICK; HOOS PLASTIC BIKE IS THIS?//?

JADHOCK; IT"S A NITE RIDER BIG WEEL BABY

FRENCH CHICK; HOOS NITE RIDER BIG WEEL IS THIS??/?

JADHOCK; ICEBURPER"S

FRENCH CHCIK; HOOS ICECRUSHER?\??

JADHOCK; ICECRAPPER"S SLIPING AND SLIDING, BABY, ICEDUMPER"S SLIPING
AND SLIDING

3, THE CHIWAWA (YOU NO LIEK ON YO KIERO TACO BELL)

PIKESTREET; MAN THAT WAS A CLOSE WON!111!! WHAT TOOK YOU GUYS SO
LONG??/?

DAVID H; WELL WE HAD TO DO STUFF LIEK TALK ABOUT FRANTS!11!!

BRAIN PEZ; HEY PIKESTREET YOU NO HOW IT IS OH CARP!1!!! I SHOT
PIKESTREET IN THE FACE!!1!!

DAVID H; O CARP WHAT ARE WE GOING TOO DOO?/?? LET"S GO TO KWENTIN"S
HOUSE!1!!!

BRAIN PEZ; OK HEY QWENTIN WE HAEV A PROBLEM!!1!!

QWENTIN; OH &^(^%#!!!1!!! WHY DO YOU BRING A DEAD *?@#-ING PIKESTREET
IN HEAR?/?? DO YOU SEE A SIGN THAT SAYS DEAD PIKESTREET STORAGE??/??

DAVID H; UH NO

BRAIN PEZ; I"M CALLING DINTY!1!! HEY DINTY BRAIN SHOT PIKESTREET IN
THE FACE!!1!!1

DINTY H THAT"S ME; WEL THANK YOU FOR INTERUPTING THE 1000000000
PIRAMID MY FAVRIT SHO!!1!!11! I WILL CALL THE CHIWAWA FOR YOU!11!!

BRAIN PEZ; OK IT"S COOL THE CHEEWAWA IS GOING TO HELP US!!1!!

THE COP FROM THELMA AND LOOEEZ; OK LET"S KLEEN UP THIS MESS AND SQUIRT
A WATER HOSE AT YOU GUYS!!11!!! OK NOW PUT ON QWENTIN"S DORKY
CLOTHES!!1!!

DAVID H; WE LOOK LIEK CHUMPS!!1!!

QWENTIN; HEY THOSE ARE MY FAVRIT SHIRTS THAT I GOT AT THE NELSIN
CONCERT SO PLEES BRING THEM BACK BECUZ GUNNIR AND THE OTHER WON ARE
THE BEST!!1!

THE COP FROM THELMA AND LOOEEZ; WELL HEAR COMES PAT TO TAEK ME TO
BREKFIST!1!!! BYE BYE!!1!!

DAVID H; WHOA BRAIN PEZ WAS THAT A BOY OR A GIRL??//??

BRAIN PEZ; I DUNO WITH THAT PAT I JSUT CA"NT TELL!1!!

CUT TO RESTRANT...

BRAIN PEZ; THIS IS REELY GOOD ROOTY TOOTY FRESH AND FROOTY!!1!! DO YOU
WANT SOME??/??

DAVID H; NO THANK YOU I DO"NT EAT STRAWBERRYS BECUZ THEY GROW NEAR
DIRT AND DIRT IS FILTHIE!!11!!

BRAIN PEZ; OK MORE FOR ME TO EAT!!1!!! UH OH ALL THIS FROOT IS MAKING
ME HAEV TO GO DOO DOO!11!! BE RITE BACK!!11!!

LORI ZOTELA; I LUV YOU PUMKIN

JAY; I LUV YOU HUNNY BUNNY

LORI ZOTELA; ANY OF YOU MOVE AND WE WILL FLAME YOU BUT GOOD!11!!

JAY; HEY LOOK THAT GUY HAS A CASE!!1!! WAHT" SIN THAT CASE??/??

DAVID H; MY BOSS"S DOO DOO UNDERWHEAR

JAY; SOUNDS LIEK A MEAN WON JOB I AM TAKING THAT CASE!11! OOO LOOK
INSIDE IT IT BOOTIFUL!11!!

DAVID H; HOLD IT RITE THEIR OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!!11!

LORI ZOTELA; DO"NT HARM HIM!11!1

JAY; WATE!!!!111! DO"NT!!1!!

BRAIN PEZ; HEY HE IS TRYING TO TAEK DINTY"S CASE I AM GONIG TO FLAME
HIM!!1!!

DAVID H; SIT DOWN AND LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I ALWAYS USED TO FLAME
MEAN WONS AND SAY "HE PATH OF THE RISHESS MAN IS BEESET ON ALL SIDES
BY THE INEKWITIES OF THE MEAN AND SELFISH WONS. THE WON WHO TAKES CARE
OF HIS PLAS IS A NICE WON." BUT MAYBE YOU"RE THE PLA AND I"M THE NICE
WON SO I AM GOING TO LET YOU GO.

JAY; OK YOWZA YOWZA WE"RE OUTTA HERE LET"s GO LORI ZOTELA!11!!!

BRAIN PEZ; WHEW THAT WAS A CLOSE WON!11!

DAVID H; YES AND NOW I WILL STOP THIS BIZNESS AND ROAM THE CHAT ROOMS
ON THE CHAT MASHIN LIKE CANE IN KUNG FU.

BRAIN PEZ; WELL YOU WILL BE A BUM!11!!

DAVID H; THAT"S ALRIGHT THE CHAT PLAS WILL TAEK GOOD CARE OF ME

BRAIN PEZ; LET"S GO GET SOME PEZ

THE END